Sodor Island Parody Pack

If Wishes Were Trees

It was a bright, sunny, happy day on the Island of Sodor. All the engines were working together, Gordon was pulling the Express, Thomas was running his Branch Line, James was vainly admiring his reflection in the Mirror Factory, Edward was busy moping in a goods shed and Henry had decided to go to the forest for no particular reason.
“Everything is just dull, dull, dull,” he sighed to his nonexistent driver, “everyone seems to be acting a lot differently than they used to nowadays. Still I still have my favourite trees to talk to. Old Oak, Weeping Willow, Perfect Palms, Strange-Glowing-In-The-Darkest-Depths…”
Suddenly, Henry stopped. “Wait a minute, that was odd…there’s no Palm Trees in a Forest!”
He went back and tried to find the Palm Tree just to make sure. Instead he came across the strange glowing tree in the darkest depths of the forest and felt strangely drawn towards it.
“Ooooh!” he awed, “I’ve never seen this tree before. What type is it, I wonder?”
“It be a magic Wishing Treeeeee…” said a ominous spooky voice from no where, “legend has it that whosoever wisheth on thou tree shall get their wish come truuueeeee!”
Henry looked around him, in both excitement and nervousness. “Oh, a wishing tree, eh? D’ya think it might grant my wish?” asked Henry hopefully.
“It might,” said Terence, coming from behind the tree, “but then again what do I know? I’m just a background character!”
“Then what were you doing over there?”
“Well we had to get this story moving somehow, don’t we!?” And Terence chugged crossly away.
So Henry decided to have a go. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and said: “I wish that I…er…I…had an ice cream!”
Suddenly, no sooner had Henry spoken, than an ice cream came out of no where and landed on his bufferbeam. “Cor! It really works!” Henry decided to have another go. “I wish…that whenever I say ‘Now’, Duck would think he is a…chicken!”
(Kind of ironic, isn’t it?)

Anyway, when Henry got home, ironically all the other engines were there waiting as they couldn’t care at all about their work whatsoever. He looked very pleased with himself.
“What are you so unusually cheery about?” grunted Gordon.
“I know something you don’t know!” sang Henry mockingly.
“What?” asked Thomas, interested, “what are you talking about, Henry mockingly?”
“Well, Thomas, interested,” Henry grinned, “it just so happens that I came upon the legendary Wishing Tree. A Mysterious tractor told me that it can make all your wishes come true,”
“Ah. So?” asked Duck.
“I never knew you spoke Chinese!” enquired Percy, with as much IQ as a mouldy load of bread.
Henry saw his chance. Smiling broadly again, he said out loud: “Well, Duck couldn’t speak Chinese until NOW!”
Then Duck felt all peculiar. “Ooh! All of a sudden, I’ve got this urge to sit on Farmer MaColl’s barn and attempt to crow,” So saying, he puffed away, clucking.
The others watched with puzzlement. “What was that about!?”
“That was what I wished for,” Henry explained, “that Duck would act like a chicken. I also wished for an ice cream,”
“Rubbish!” snorted James.
“No, look!” cried Thomas, “there, on Henry. An ice cream! He must be telling the truth,”
“Well I’ll be! So it is!” exclaimed Gordon.
“Where was this tree again?” asked James, taking a sudden liking towards Henry.
“In the darkest depths of the forest. Why?”
“Oh…nothing. I’ve…got to go and…do…stuff…” James added, slowly rolling out of the shed.
“Yeah…me too…” Thomas rolled after him, half an inch quicker.
Then, before Henry realised it, everyone else had scampered away in a twinkle of an eye…all except Percy, who only realised what everyone else was up to three hours later.

The next day, Henry decided to go back to his forest and wish for another ice cream (and some hands to eat it with) when he got a shock.
“That’s funny, I’ve never seen a huge crowd here before, right where the Wishing Tree is,”
As he came nearer, however, he began to catch onto what was going on!
Everyone had been there since yesterday and were wishing as if the world was coming to an end.
First he heard Thomas: “I wish that I could take over the series!” And in a flash, Thomas the Almighty Lord, Master and God of the Universe had complete control of the show.
“I wish I…er…was…not dumb!” Percy attempted. And another flash later, his IQ became brilliantly clever. “Oh, I say! This is utterly mesmerizing! The most mega, miraculous thing that has ever occurred in my verve!”
“Oh, shut it!” snapped James, pushing him aside, “I wish that I had the largest, shiniest dome in the world!”
In a flash, James’ gold dome was now the size of a water tower…but it was so big, unfortunately, that he tipped over and crashed on top of Trevor, Neville and Endock. Luckily, no one was hurt.
“I wish someone would shoot the narrator!” snarled Emily.

OW!!!

…Sorry about that. Anyway, Duck waddled in whilst this was going on. “Ah! At last! I can finally end my torment!”
Gordon glared at him. “Oh, not NOW!”
“Oh, no! Not again!” wailed Duck as he rolled backwards and forwards, clucking madly. If he had feathers, they’d be seriously ruffled!
It was then that Henry barged in. “All right, that’s enough! Everyone’s acting very silly! We need to stop this nonsense before the Fat Controller find out and gets cross with all of us!”
“I don’t think that’ll ever happen,” smiled Dennis craftily.
“Why now, Dennis craftily?”
“Because I wished that he would get twice as what I would get…and right now, I’m staying right here, doing nothing! HA!”
Everyone started at him. Dennis blushed in embarrassment. “Well…it was all I could think of…”
“HA-HA! Trust a stupid one-off diesel character to think of something so predictable and lame!” Gordon jeered.
Dennis glowered at him. “Think that’s funny, fatso? Well, I wish that smile was wiped clean off your smokebox!”
And in true Bachman style, Gordon’s face fell off completely, revealing a pair of horrifying goggled eyes.
“Well…this is awkward!” muttered the faceless Gordon.
Then, things really got out of hand.
“AH-HAAAA!” Diesel screeched as he dramatically rolled to the tree through the crowds, with a deviously grin on his smug mug, “so this is the famous wishing tree, is it? Well, now I can wish for anything in the world! Let’s see…I wish….for…”
“An ice cream?” suggested Edward.
“No, no! That would be positively ludicrous, Edwin,” said Percy of Oxford University, “as if this regretful anecdote isn’t cluttered up wholly before now!”
“Oh, I’ve had enough!” Thomas moaned, “I wish Percy would zip it!”
Then, a massive zipper appeared on Percy’s lips, muffing his words completely.
“Right then,” said Thomas, “now that I run this show completely, I can wish for everything to be back to normal,”
“TOO LATE FOR THAT, PUFFBALL!” boomed the Devious voice of Diesel, “WHILST YOU WERE TOO BUSY BEING STUPID, I MADE A FEW WISHES OF MY OWN. FIRST, I WISHED THAT YOU WERE NOT IN CONTROL! SECOND, I WISED MYSELF AN ATOMIC BOMB, WHICH I’LL USE TO BLOW YOU ALL TO KINGDOM COME! AND THIRD…HANG ON. I WISH I COULD SPEAK IN NORMAL LETTERS, PLEASE!...Thank you! Ahem, I also wished that No one will ever unwish my last wish,”
“Oh yeah?” Henry advanced forward and said quickly, “I wish Diesel’s last wish was unwished…infinity!”
“Not so fast!” called Diesel a second later: “for I wish that wish was un-unwished…infinity plus one!”
“Well, I wish that wish was UN-un-unwished infinity…plus two!”
“Well…I wish that wish was UN-un-un-unwished…infinity…of the universe…and beyond….times 10!”
“…..drat,” Henry moaned.
Diesel laughed triumphantly as his huge Atomic Bomb rose in the air by means of a Zeppelin high above the first. “Now, no one can stop me now! With my awesome Atomic Bomb, I can do anything I want with it!”
“Like what?” asked an innocent bystander.
Diesel’s smile dropped. “Oh…er…I dunno. I never thought I’d get this far! I think I should…go bomb HIT Entertainment! Bwa-ha-ha-haaaaa!”
Everyone watched with dismay as the Zeppelin slowly made its get away, with Diesel floating beneath it.
“What’ll we do now?” asked Molly, “we’ll never catch him at the rate he’s going!”
“There’s still hope yet!” said Henry quickly. He came to the tree and, hoping for the best, he called: “I wish that Zeppelin would pop, and I also wish that Atomic Bomb was made of rubber!”
And that’s exactly what happened. With a lot POP the large airship burst and Diesel fell to the ground with a crash!
“OUCH!” he wailed, “well, at least I’m still OK,”
But that as before the giant Atomic Bomb fell, crushing him into a sardine tin…before bouncing away along the line, knocking Dennis off the rails and into a pile of poison ivy.
“Uh-oh!” Dennis murmured, “old Topham won’t be happy about this!”
But everyone else had bigger things to worry about. The worst kind of Atomic Bomb is the large, bouncy kind that could squash you at any moment! Wherever they all went, there was the bouncing bomb causing chaos and destruction.
“This is getting WAY out of hand!” cried James, still unable to move.
“And all because of that wishing tree, too!” snapped Gordon’s face.
“MM! MMMM, MMM, MMMMM, MM, MMMM!!!!” mumbled Percy.
“Percy’s got it right for once!” said Emily, “we should do something!”
“How’s about I lay us a few eggs?” asked Duck, “I think I’ve got the hang of it NOW…CLUCK! CLUCK!” he added, before being trodden on by the bouncing bomb.
“You know,” snarled Henry, “I’ve had enough of this! And all because I was fed up with how everything was! You know what I wish? I wish I could start this whole day over!”
“STOP!” cried his driver and fireman, appearing out of no where: “You don’t want to wish tha…”

****


It was a bright, sunny, happy day on the Island of Sodor…

“AAAAAAAUUGHHH!!!!!” screamed everyone.

THE END! (At last!)

Sodor Island Parody Pack