Sodor Island Parody Pack

Thomas Comes To Breakfast

The cleaner was supposed to be wiping down Thomas' controls whilst the fire built itself up, but this morning he was being lazy! He had been out all night the night before with his pals and now he was feeling very rough. "Maybe if I move some things around to make it look as if I've cleaned, I'll get away with it!" he thought. And so this was what he did.

Thomas was already awake by the time he was leaving. The cleaner had left his gear outside and was nipping off for a sneaky cuppa before pretending to have cleaned inside Percy.

Thomas felt himself moving, "Oh goody!" he thought, "Now's my chance!"
He ran for a few yards, planning to stop and "WHEEESH!", but found that he couldn't. "Okay," he thought, "maybe I do need a driver for that!"

He ran on a little further, and tried to stop, but this also found it impossible! "Oh crikey!" he thought, "Now what?"

The Station Master and his family were settling down to breakfast. "Burnt toast again dear?" he smirked as she placed down his plate. "And the bacon's shrivelled up as well. I like it crispy, this is brittle!"
"Ahem," said his wife, "seems like you and the bacon have a lot in common then eh dear?"
"Go and make some fresh stuff eh?" he egged.
"Well if it's not good enough, go and make yourself something!"
"Pah!" he snorted, "You know I haven't got time to boil a toast, woman! I need to get to work, don't I?"
He frowned and looked up to the ceiling in desperation. He began praying for something to help him get out of this terrible breakfast, "Please God!" he thought, "Anything, please!!!"
The answer to his prayers came sooner than he had expected. "CRAAAAAAAAAASH!!!!" Thomas burst in through the dining room wall, and sent the table and the plates of food flying into the air, smashing all over the floor and spilling all over the place.

The Station Master was shocked, "If there is a God, he certainly works in mysterious ways!" he thought as he got to his feet, "And quickly too these days!"
The Station Master was furious, he hadn't been expecting to have company for breakfast.

His wife picked up her plate, "You miserable engine!" she scolded, "Just look what you've done to our breakfast! Now I shall have to cook some more!"
"YEEEEEEEES!!!" cried the Station Master's children, "I mean oh dear, that's terrible mum..."
"Never mind the breakfast being ruined woman!" roared the Station Master, "Look at the state of my garden!"
"Hmm, lets look at it this way," said his wife, "at least he got rid of that horrible old bush. I was going to get the hatchet and chop it down today anyway!" and with that, she slammed the door and went into the kitchen.
The Station Master looked up to the ceiling again, "Would it be too much to ask for another favour? I know it might be a little too much even for you, but could you let her cook a half-decent breakfast for once?"
But he knew even God couldn't help him now. Soon the workmen came to inspect the damage. They propped up the house with strong poles, and laid rails through the garden. "Mind my petunias!" shrieked the Station Master's wife, "The weeding and seeding took him the best part of a week to do!"
Just then the Fat Controller arrived, "I'm here to snag myself some breakfa...I mean inspect the damage!"
Donald and Douglas pulled Thomas clear of the house, and then he was left alone. "What'll we do with this bush?" asked the workmen.
"Keep it!" said the Station Master's wife.
The Station Master and his wife looked at their house, "Oh good lord!" sighed his wife with a tear in either eye.
"I know dear." said The Station Master, "It'll be all right."
"I know," she sobbed, "but the thing is, he's ruined my new dining room curtains! And now I've not got a dining room window to hang them in!!!"
The Station Master looked up to the sky again, "And it looks as if we won't have a dining room for a while either..." and with that, he gave a contented smile!

The Fat Controller spoke severely to Thomas, "You are a very naughty engine!"
Thomas was speechless, "IT WASN'T MY FAULT!!!" he snapped, "I can hardly move without someone meddling with my controls!"
The Fat Controller was abrupt, "You must go to the works to have your front end mended, it'll be a long job."
"Fair enough," smiled Thomas, "I could do with a holiday anyway."
"Meanwhile, a Diesel Railcar will do your work!"
"A D-d-diesel Sir?"
"Yes Thomas, Diesels always stay in their sheds till they are wanted. Diesels never go galavanting off to breakfast in Station Masters' houses."
Thomas muttered under his breath, "According to the Station Master, not many people would have the stomach to go galavanting off to breakfast in his house!"

Sodor Island Parody Pack