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North of the Island, there lives a dear old train.
(Actually,
you'll find him all over the island these days)
A little tram engine, Toby is his name.
(No, really?)
He's
quaint and old fashioned, but careful and wise.
(Or at least he was, until S8 and 9 came along)
His coach is
Henrietta and she's seen better days.
(Yeah, like Season 1, when she had a more active role)
His mind keeps
returning to the good old days.
(Yeah...the earlier seasons)
When they were busy working every day.
(because
he was used more)
But nobody rides with him nowadays,
(lousy HiT)
They can't understand why things have
changed,
(Join the club)
Their line is closing down today forever.
Toby, oh Toby,
What will become of you?
(Lawn furniture, possibly)
The world's much nicer
Whenever we see you.
(Which explains all
these World Wars, doesn't it?)
Toby, dear Toby,
There's
still lots that you can do.
(Not milking the cows! He's awful at that)
Oldies but Goldies,
We still care about you.
All of the children came to say good-bye.
(Children?
I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THOSE BLOODY THINGS!!)
They clapped and cheered as Toby rang his bell 'bye bye'.
(Sounds like
'Ding Ding' to me)
Everyone was sad to see them
go.
Whatever will they do, and where will they go?
(HiT's stock cupboard, most probably)
Suddenly news
came to brighten up their day,
(Shut those blooming curtains at once!!)
How Toby and Henrietta were needed right
away.
(No time to wonder why)
The Fat Controller had written to say,
(You have caused confusion and delay!
Nah, only joking. But hey, it fits.)
Could they please come and help right away?
(Help with proper work, of course)
Now
they're part of his family forever.
Toby,
oh Toby,
Show them what you can do.
(And we mean in your earlier days, not your weakling stage of Season 8)
The world's much nicer,
Whenever we see you.
(Hang on, we've
already had that line!)
Toby, dear Toby,
There's
so much to learn from you.
(I bet he can't figure out what Y is if you times R by 3, then subtract X)
Oldies but Goldies,
We still care about you.
(and, of course,
'we' meaning your true fans)
Oldies but Goldies,
We.....still
care....for you.
(Yes, you've made your point. Now I'm off to get a pizza)
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